a Memory

Wednesday, March 31, 2004, six friends were traveling back from Wednesday night church. In northern Wisconsin, spring comes late and the snow was still piled like a guardrail on the side of the roads. That Wednesday was a beautiful day; the frozen tundra had begun to thaw. Those six friends left to minister at their church that Wednesday night like every Wednesday and Sunday. Some helped with the youth group and some helped with the kids ministry. They laughed and talked and enjoyed each others company on the hour ride back from their church. Of course by now, darkness shroud the landscape and the icy fingers of winter grasped the frozen woods of Northland. A couple of miles from campus and they would be back into the grind of college life. But the spring day and the winter night spread patches of black ice upon the roadways. Talk and laughter filled the van then suddenly the van fishtailed a little, and a second later screams and horror filled the van lying on its side. The front passenger sat dangling, hanging by a seat-belt with his arm pressed against the cold glass which was now pressed against the black, cold pavement. Death was in front of all the friends eyes as the van violently jerked and skidded to a abrupt stop. Life seemed so fragile and brief. Whom have I in heaven but you and their is none upon the earth I desire beside you. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart… Only God could help those six friends now. Four friends crawled out unharmed from the van and two friends lie silent. Two friends who seconds ago were talking and laughing were no longer talking and laughing. The four friends waited to hear the report on their two silent friends in the van… One silent friend saw Jesus face to face that night. The other silent friend awoke a couple of days later to the shining face of Jesus. Two friends who ministered grace to others at church and to those in the van never would see Thursday, April 1st, and breath springtime again in this broken world. One silent friend planned to minister in China after graduation in a couple of weeks. Instead, Jesus redeemed several people at the memorial through this friends death. Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit… The other silent friend planned to minister at home after graduation in a couple of weeks as well. 

5 years have passed since that accident on the back roads of northern Wisconsin. New memories are created and new relationships have been forged. Old feelings and hurts have been healed and Jesus still is good. The four friends have long since parted paths. Two of the four friends later began dating and eventually married a couple of years ago. Those two continue to minister grace along the life-path that is given them, and indeed Jesus has changed them since 5 years ago. The third of the four friends also continues to minister with the gifts given and spreads the cheer of grace to all. Also the third friend is now in a wonderful relationship with someone who seems to be made just for them. Time will tell what great things Jesus will do through them. The fourth of the four friends is me. I am the fourth friend who walked away unhurt from the van that cold spring night 5 years ago. Why did Jesus spared my life and not my two friends? I don’t know… I am now in a great place beyond what I could imagine 5 years ago! I hope I always remember that life is fragile and precious and especially that life is about Jesus my saviour and king. I’ll always remember you, my two friends who worship and talk with Jesus face to face, on your anniversary day, March 31st. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. 

The Nursing School Story

I have no idea what I’m going to do. This is what I was thinking when I graduated with my MA this past May 08. I actually graduated with the intention of moving up to Virginia Beach and attending Central Baptist Theological Seminary; but a couple of weeks after graduation, I really didn’t have any desire to continue my education at CBTS partially because I really wanted to go up to TEDS or SBTS . Unfortunately, it’s expensive to attend such a school and rightful so (you get what you pay for). I have lots of education but no job skills, so I’m stuck working low-wage/skill jobs with an MA.

I continued to think about it and consulted my parents because I’ve seen and known lots of people who have a bible college and even seminary education who are working low-wage/skill jobs and struggling to provide for their family, which is great if God has directed their life-path this way. But God gave me the gift of singleness for now, and I intend to make full use of it. I’m at a point in my life where I am free to pursue wholeheartedly just about any opportunity available. Someday I’d love to do cross-cultural ministry, so I wanted to pursue an opportunity that enhances my ability to serve cross-culturally. Yet I also wanted to pursue something that is flexible and will provide for my family wherever God directs me. Another factor is that I’ve always loved science since I was a kid. In fact, I think science is in my DNA – just look at my family.

So God was orchestrating all these thoughts and desires in my mind this last summer, and I decided to pursue the field of nursing. Nursing is not as intensive and as commitment demanding as an MD yet at the same time basic medical skills are learned, which I presume will be greatly beneficial in a third-world country. Also male nurses are in high demand all over the country, so job security and availability is extremely high. I thought I could go to Greenville Tech and finish their ASN in a year or two and then continue my life; but when I applied to Greenville Tech, I found that they were not going to accept my undergrad degree or credits because NBBC is nationally accredited not regionally accredited (an issue that I could rant on and on about). I also discovered that the nursing program at GTech is very competitive, and it was going to take at least 3 years to finish. The lady at GTech in charge of transfer students recommended I apply to the USC Upstate BSN program. I was not happy with GTech, but I talked to a nursing adviser at USC Upstate, and she thought I could get into the nursing program at USC Upstate starting Fall 09. God seemed to be directing me to earn an actually better degree in the same amount of time. I had some prereq classes to take at GTech and then I would transfer Fall 09 to USC Upstate. I put my application by the Dec 08 deadline for the fall program, and USC Upstate said they would let me know if I was accepted in the program by March 09 – this month. 

In December, my brother, a full-ride scholarship student in the MD program at the Medical University of SC, thought I should apply to his med school nursing program; MUSC apparently has an accelerated BSN program. I really didn’t consider his idea until late December because if I couldn’t get into GTech there was no way I was going to get into a competitive accelerated nursing program at a medical university. Anyway, I thought it was worth a fools try and submitted my transcripts. The application for MUSC is actually more than just your name and address and some questions like every school I’d previously applied to (NBBC, BJU, GTech, USC Upstate). I had to write an essay and send in a resume and provide three references that actually had to write something. I then submitted the MUSC application by the Feb 1 deadline. Meanwhile, USC Upstate had me submit a background check and had opened an email account for me, yet I still hadn’t heard if they accepted me into the nursing program. 

March comes around and I haven’t heard from either school. My prayers are intensifying, and I’ve asked for prayer from some of my peers. Maybe God is directing my life into something different. I believe God’s will for us sometimes looks like a jagged line with u-turns and twists. If I don’t get into nursing school, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I am very thankful that God has directed me to stay in Greenville this last fall and winter because they have been some of the best times of my life, and I’ve made several dear friends this past fall and winter. I never would have gotten involved in the great church I’m in and worked my awesome job at Home Depot and rubbed shoulders with my peers at GTech. God has used all these to revitalize my life in every area this last fall and winter for which I’m extremely thankful. Anyway, I got a letter from USC Upstate last week and right away my dad called me. I told him to go ahead and open it to see what it was about, so he did. It was my email account information. Are you kidding me?! I still didn’t know! This last Monday (3/9) I called MUSC to find out the status of my application. I guess I would find out for sure what MUSC thought of my credentials. The lady told me MUSC had reviewed my credentials, and they were offering me a seat in the accelerated nursing program starting August 24! Wow! I was blown away! I haven’t really announced it because I wanted to wait until I got the official letter; I got the official letter on Thursday; and sure enough, I’m in the accelerated program if I finish my prereqs. 

It is amazing to see how God takes my weak steps of faith and does above what I can ask or think. God closed the door on my plans to pursue the associates in nursing at GTech, but now I’m looking forward to what he is going to do in the future. I’m sad that I’m probably not going to be at my church for much longer than this summer, but there is a community of grace where I’m going. I’m not sure yet specifically which local community although I have some ideas. Anyway, that’s my nursing school story….

The City

I love the country especially the mountains, but I think YHWH created us to be city dwellers. YHWH called Abraham from his birthland to wander the Middle Eastern countryside looking for a city that has foundations: a city whose builder and designer is God himself. The Spirit commends Abraham for his faith yet despite the unimaginable hardships Abraham didn’t receive the promise, Messiah Jesus. 

YHWH called me as a young child from my birthland to wander this emerging global village to look for a city that has foundations: A city that is real and physical similar to the cities of today yet in many ways much different – more beautiful, filled with citizens overflowing with love, peace, and joy. I think the most amazing part of this city is that it is the place where Jesus lives and where the entire city is bent towards him.

We, the church, have received the promise, Messiah Jesus. As the Hebrews faced hard times even imprisonment, the Spirit exhorts them to lay aside the weights and the sins and look to Jesus the writer and completion of our faith. The hard times I face are mainly psychological and petty in contrast; nevertheless, the calling, exhortation, and promise have not changed for me. I know that I’m still way too caught up with my birthland and think too little of the city I’m really looking for.

I’m gonna digress here and ruminate about this city in connection with our future salvation. I think that many christians think of the future salvation as something esoteric or mystical. This thinking unfortunately comes from tv theology rather than biblical theology. Heaven is a far away place with lots of light and organ music and wispy clouds and saints that walk around slowly with their hands folded in prayer. At least that’s the image I get when someone says heaven. When in reality, our future salvation is a city that is very real and physical on an unbroken earth that is much like our broken earth with natural wonders and beauty just like what I see when I see the mountains of NC across the city of Greenville on I-385. This is the future hope that I’m looking for and that I believe the holy Scriptures presents: physical people living with a physical Jesus in a physical city on a real planet call the new earth. In my mind this give so much more significance to the resurection life both spiritually and someday physically.